The Reality of Being a Published Author

When I was just out of high school, I used to constantly say to myself that if I could just have six months in a quiet house with no bills and no responsibilities, I'd write the perfect book, get it published, and then never have to work again. I held on to that dream through much of my twenties, using it as an excuse for not writing.

Well now I'm published. I never found that six months of responsibility-free solitude. What I did find is a reality that bears a sadistic non-resemblance to my dream. I've heard a lot, recently, of the type of wishing that I used to do and I thought I'd shatter some dreams for fun. You know, because it's Wednesday and I'm bored.

So here's the reality: Writing time is carved out of real life. Working on my current project, brain storming, revisions, more revisions, uh...more revisions, all have to be done around my normal stuff. I have a 40-50 hour a week job. Some times I manage to leverage some time during my day to sneak in some outlining or typing, but mostly those are hours that are lost. Then I have a dog who demands much of my time, a house that often needs cleaning, friends who send up signal flares if I don't hang out with them, family, other hobbies. Plus, I gotta know what happens on the last season of Lost.

Those things mean that I have to find time to write whenever I can get it. I work noon to eight two days a week, so I use those days to get up early and write. I usually write from about eight in the morning until I have to get ready for work at eleven. I do most of my revising and editing in the evenings when I get home from work while dinner's cooking, or on a lap desk while I catch up on Dexter. Then there are the weekends. I follow the same morning routine, except that I write from the time I wake up until the time my brain turns to mush.

I make those writing times sacred to me. Even if I have no project to write, I write projects that I might want to work on later to see if they're better ideas than actual projects (something which occurs more often than not).

Much of the rest of my life suffers for my writing. I became woefully out of shape because I sacrificed working out for writing (something I'm currently taking back), I see my friends less than I want, and have less time to do other things I enjoy (paint, learn the guitar, play on my computer). But those are the realities. I'm published, yes, but I still have to find writing time where I can find it.

The reason is because most new authors (and many, many authors with multiple books) can't live off of their advances. My advance was modest. There are quite a few upsides to that, which I may or may not have spoken of in other posts, but the point is that my advance isn't enough to live off of. Sure, if the book does well and I earn out my advance, eventually I'll receive royalties, but my book doesn't come out until June 15 of next year. And publishers only do royalty statements twice a year. And, with returns, I likely won't earn any royalties in my first six months. Therefore, if I earn ANY royalties, I probably won't start seeing them until 2011! And if I do, they probably won't be for much.

Hopefully in the future, I'll sell another book, and then another. But IF I sell another book this year (or likely next year) that takes in another modest advance....well, you get the picture. Making a living with this writing thing is not at all like the dream.

But, you're saying, what if I get a superstar advance my first time out? Well, as unlikely as that is to happen (I know a couple people who've done it) if it does happen, it doesn't really put you into any better of a position than me, except that I haven't got six figures tumbling in my brain making me make bad decisions. See with my modest advance, I figured out my tax liability and then put that in a savings account. Then I paid off some bills. Then I treated myself to something shiny. Um...then it was gone. Seriously, aside from taxes, I treated it as bonus money. Money I didn't expect to have.

With a larger advance, you'll have a bigger tax liability (and you'll likely have to pay quarterly). But is it really enough to quit your day job? Probably not. Because unless your book explodes, you're probably going to be earning out your advance forever. You'll likely never see royalties, which means you won't have income. You'll just have that one check. And unless you have the next book ready and sold, you might be living off that check for a very long time. Hello Ramen noodles.

That's it. The reality. The reality is that selling your book and getting published isn't this magical thing that to a land free of responsibility. It is, however, one of the coolest, most amazing experiences in my life. I've learned how to be a better writer, met the most amazing people, and generally had a good time. I hope that in the future I'll create a sustainable career that will enable me to put my day job aside, but until then I just keep writing what I love and living the best life I can.

Banned Books Week

In honor of banned books week, I'd like to take a moment to talk about some books I'd like to see banned. Starting with Twilight. Do kids really need to know how to glare and be glared at? Also, I take offense to the name of the town. Forks. What about people who can only use spoons? Did Meyers ever stop to think about them?

Moving onto The Hunger Games. Dear Suzanne Collins, I didn't actually read this book but hunger isn't a game. Hunger is real. Loads of people face it every day. Like hippos. Poor, hungry, hungry hippos. I don't think kids should be exposed to any book that mocks those gentle creatures.

Harry Potter also makes my list of books I'd like to see banned. Not because they're about witches and wizards and not because their headmaster is a homosexual, but because of the blatant mistreatment of owls. Owls are not and should never be treated as someone's personal courier. For shame, JK.

I'd like to also add John Green's Looking for Alaska. It's above Canada. Anyone who can't find it shouldn't be writing books for children. Please go back to grade school, Mr. Green.

Finally I'd like to see Spanking Shakespeare by Jake Wizner banned on the grounds that all forms of corporal punishment are wrong and should not be tolerated. Especially against The Bard.

As you can see, we have a battle ahead of us, but one I believe we can win, and I won't stop until, these books--no, strike that--until ALL books are banned. Including my own.

Thank you.

Blog Chain: I am what I am

Sorry for the lateness everyone. My poor laptop had a meltdown yesterday and let's just say it was a mess.

Anyway, onto the topic! Our question this time was asked by Michelle, who also happened to come before me, so go on over and check out her blog. And it is:

Do you choose WHAT you do because of WHO you are? Or is who you are determined by what you do?

I know it sounds like total cheese, but I've always felt like a writer. I over-exaggerate when I tell any story, my imagination is nuts, and I've just always felt compelled to tell people my stories. I think that I am predisposed toward being a writer. However a writer is not who I am. All the people I work with in my office think of me as The Computer Guy. My brothers think of me as the guy who reads too much. My parents as the guy who never picked his clothes up off the floor as a kid.

So I guess I'm going to answer this question with a neither. I'm not a writer because I write, nor do I write because I'm a writer. I write because I love it. And being a writer is simply one facet of my crazy personality. A big part, yes, but not the only part. I'm not defined by it, in the same way that I'm not defined by any of my other interests or activities.

Hmmm, not sure if I answered this well. It's tough. I just think that when we allow ourselves to be defined by a thing, we shut ourselves off to everything else.

Cool. Now, go to Cole's blog and see how she answered this. Probably better than I. Until next time!

Blog chain: Technical Difficulties

I'm supposed to be posting my blog chain today but my computer has taken a nosedive. I'm doing this from my iPhone. I'm fixing my computer as we speak and as soon as I get it running I'll post my chain. Thanks!

Blog Chain: Breaking the Law! Breaking the Law!

Hey, so it's time for the blog chain. Michelle posted an awesome blog before me and Cole's up tomorrow so head over to their blogs to check the whole thing out!

Kate started this party by asking: What writing rules/advice - whether it was a matter of cannot or will not - have you broken?

Answer: All of them? Seriously though. All of them. Really. Except for the Oxford Comma. I'm a vicious task master with that one.

As my previous blog chainners have mentioned, you should really know the rules before you can break them. For instance, someone who doesn't know any better might use adverbs because they believe that more is better. But as writers we need to know that sometimes adverbs are a crutch used because we couldn't find the right word. Why would you say, "She talked loudly and quickly" when you can say, "She screamed at me in run-ons." Both essentially say the same thing but the first is weak. It doesn't draw the image.

The same goes for prologues. There's nothing intrinsically wrong with a prologue. However too many people use them as dumping grounds for information that should be scattered through the rest of the book. And look at ALL CAPS and exclamation points!!!! If you flavor every sentence with them, they become common, but if you have a book that has just one single word in all caps, then you're breaking the all caps rule and really making that one word special. That can be a powerful tool.

Okay, now what rule do I break often and with great glee? Fragments. I use them frequently. Because most of my work is done in first person for a YA audience, I tend to use fragmented thought. Unfortunately I lean on it too much but the advantage is that when I do use fuller, more complete thoughts, they stand out. Like, "wow, he really thought that through." Plus, I happen to believe that most people don't think in perfectly formed complex sentences. I think we stutter and start and bounce around in our heads.

Okay, like I said, head on over and visit Cole's blog for her answer, which is sure to rock, because that's how she rolls.

Crash

My life, right now, is like a sucking black hole that devours all my good intentions, leaving me with nothing but gaping holes in my blog that stare at me and make me feel guilty like those bell-ringing Santas who I know are mentally heaping voodoo curses on me every time I walk by without dropping whatever spare change and pocket lint I happen to be carrying at the time, and I just can't take that kind of pressure right now without possibly going on a garden gnome killing spree or gelato binge (possibly both).

So how are you all?

Anyway, with all the talk of bad books, I want to take a second to talk about some books that

I'm REALLY looking forward to.

CATCHING FIRE by Suzanne Collins. I was sort of blown away by The Hunger Games (which my co-worker calls The Hungry Games and makes me snort fried rice up into my nose) when it came out. So much so that I've bought roughly a half-dozen copies to give to friends. I've avoided reading too much about what to expect but what I have heard has only made me want this book more. It should be arriving at my doorstep this Friday.

LIAR by Justine Larbalestier. I admit to having read nothing else by her. Her magical type based series didn't appeal to me, and while I thought the cover of HOW TO DITCH YOUR FAIRY was quite clever and funny, it didn't scream something I needed to read. However LIAR has got me so excited I've already pre-ordered it. Plus I really like that she brought an awareness of multi-cultural narrators to light and got her publisher to change the cover to accurately reflect that her main character was a black woman and not a white girl.

THE DEMON'S LEXICON by Sarah Rees Brennan. When I first heard about this book I was meh. I thought it was kind of a chick book. However buzz got me to take a second look and I'm now anxiously awaiting my copy. Oh, and I had to order it from England because I feel that the American cover is kind of lame. The British cover is on the left and American on the right. Maybe I'm shallow and self-conscious, but I wouldn't be caught dead in public with the American cover.

LEVIATHAN by Scott Westerfeld. I loved UGLIES but I felt the rest of the books began to get slightly repetitive, however I'm dying to read his new book. Have you seen the freaking trailer? Damn.

GOING BOVINE by Libba Bray. Finally I'm waiting for this one. I don't know why but something about it just caught my attention. I tried reading her other series beginning with A GREAT AND TERRIBLE BEAUTY, and while the writing was top notch, it just wasn't my thing. GOING BOVINE just seems like such a departure that I'm beyond curious.

Expect reviews of these when I get and read them. And now tell me what you all are reading. Anything you're looking forward to that I should know about?

Oh, and on the DEATHDAY LETTER front, I might (might not) have some fun news in the next few weeks. Sorry to be a tease, but it's so much fun.

Friday Mixed Bag: I'm super lazy

Such a loser. Me. Loser. Bad at this blogging thing. I tried setting up a schedule to encourage me to write more routinely. But here's the problem: When you spend hours every day writing, and then more hours editing, carving out another 30 minutes to write a blog entry just manages to always find itself at the bottom of the to-do list.

Plus: I'm seriously boring.

For example, my week consisted of finishing my revisions for Deathday and turning them in, working on my WIP, and watching Six Feet Under. My dog is always good for a couple minutes of amusement, but he has his own life and can't entertain me all the time. Oh, my other big thing this week was upgrading the hard drive in my laptop. I went from a 120GB to a 500GB. Super Big Fun.

I read, "When You Reach Me," a middle grade book that I really liked. I think I would have been in love with it if I'd actually read it in middle school. The great part about the book is that it deals with complex issues without ever playing down to the reader. No small feat when your book is about time travel. The only downside to it is that it's set in 1979 and two of the main plot threads (The $20,000 Pyramid game show, and Latch Key Kids) are relics. These days it's common for kids to be home alone after school. Back then I guess it was more of an issue because more women were entering the workforce. It didn't detract anything from my experience because I watched the show and grew up around some latch key kids, but I wonder if kids reading this today would understand the significance.

The other book I'm reading is Paper Towns by John Green. John Green is one of those writers whose work I both admire and dislike. I have the utmost respect for John Green. Not only do I think he's a fantastic author, but his blog posts and video blog posts and sundry other internet projects, are brilliant in a way I could only hope to be. Mostly I'm just happy with my blog posts if they're mildly intelligible, which they're usually not. Green puts together amazingly cogent arguments on everything from healthcare to censorship to why we should like Catcher in the Rye. It's that admiration that led me to pick up Paper Towns despite not really getting Looking for Alaska.

Okay, that's not true. I did get it. I liked everything that happened BEFORE. It was the AFTER section of the book that left me a little, "eh."

As writers I think we tend to mine the same subjects, whether we know it or not. Deathday reflects my own inability to live life to the fullest all the time. It mines my fear of dying without doing all that I want to do. My current WIP carries similar themes, even though they're significantly different stories. Both have boy protagonists who are unsure of themselves, who flounder through life until something happens to make them take charge. But even when they take charge, they still become barriers to their own success.

Similarly, I feel (notice the "I feel" part, because these are only my opinions) that Margo from Paper Towns, and Alaska from Looking for Alaska, are both manifestations of the same unattainable girl that Green likes to explore. That came out dirty and I didn't mean it to. I didn't read Green's second book...maybe I should...but it became clear to me after the second chapter of Paper Towns that one of John Green's themes that he will probably explore until it's out of his system is the idea of the plain but overachieving boy who is infatuated with the crazy, kooky but ultimately unattainable girl. This theme is nothing new and teen books and films have been doing this for quite some time. My problem thus far (since I haven't finished the book) is that Margo, like Alaska before him, feels two-dimensional. Why does Q love her so fully? I'm hoping I'll find the answer I'm looking for by the end of the book. However I'm beginning to suspect that I, like Q, will only come to realize that there is no real Margo. Margo, and all unattainable girls like her, don't actually exist.

And maybe that's the point of the book. That all unattainable girls (and guys) are little more than Paper Towns. But so far I feel like that's a bit of a cop out. If Q's discovery that the Margo he believed existed never really existed is the point of the story, then fine, but what's missing for me is seeing, at least, the Margo that Q believes existed. It's great that we're getting to see all the places where Margo is supposed to have existed but I'm not buying that Q is obsessed enough to go to such great lengths to find her.

And before I go, I'd like to take a second to discuss the difference between liking a book and not liking a book and being able to say so. For me, loving a book and hating a book produce similar effects. When I loved a book, such as Harry Potter or The Chaos Walking series, I tend to buy every book multiple times so that I can loan them out with abandon and make people love them as much as I do. I talk about the books with anyone who will listen and foster a dialog about them. I then go on to read as many things by that author as I possibly can. When I hate a book, like all the works of Hemmingway, I buy all the books and read them several times, loaning them to my friends to make them hate it as much as I do. I talk about them incessantly because I think talking about books I dislike is even more educational than talking about the ones I liked. I also tend to read everything by that author so that I can form a well rounded opinion.

Making me dislike a book is just as great a feat as making me like it. The biggest failure a book can make is to be uninteresting. I just want everyone to understand that when I hate on a book, it's almost as big a compliment as gushing over it. Because it inspired major feelings in me, and isn't that what books are supposed to do?

Okay, I'm out now. Have a safe labor day.

Bad Blogger!

Okay, so I had a post that I was writing and then blogger ate it and I don't have time to re-write it. That is if I could even remember what I'd written. It was funny. Take my word for it.

Instead you get this:

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

I'll be back with regular posts very soon. Promise.