Too Stupid to Quit

Two posts?  Must be Friday.  No really.  I was having some thoughts and I thought they'd be fun to share.

So back near the end of March, I realized I was WAY heavy for me.  I mean, when I was 25, I weighed about 150 lbs.  But there I was staring down the barrel of 32 at 220lbs. Whoa!  So I thought I'd take up running.  I'd run when I was training for the Fire Academy, and managed an average of 5-7 miles per day.  I was also in the best shape of my life when I started, but that's a different story.

Regardless, I began running.  I had my little GPS watch, good shoes, and an iPod loaded with motivational music.  My first distance was 3.5 miles.  I walked most of it and could barely walk the next day.  Over the next month, I managed to begin doing at least as much jogging as walking.  And by the end of the month I had managed to jog the entire thing.

Frequently, I suffered from shin splints and sore knees and lots of muscle stiffness.  But I kept telling myself that one day, I'd run a marathon.  I could barely go 3.5 miles without having to stop, but I was determined to run 26 miles.  It seemed like this completely unattainable goal.  But I kept going because I'm frequently too damn stupid to quit.

I am a rule breaker.  I probably don't stretch properly, I probably don't train properly.  I'm probably skipping about a dozen steps.  But rules only ever tell us what we can't do, never what we're actually capable of.  And here I am about two months later easily jogging six miles without stops or rests or anything.  My shin splints are mostly gone and the only major problem I have is a blister that has more layers than an onion.  I wasn't able to do it because I'm a great athlete or read a lot of blogs or books about how to run.  I got here, and I'll get into marathon shape, because I'm too dumb to know I can't.

And that's my approach to writing too.  There's a lot of information out there telling writers what they can't do, what they shouldn't do, what will ensure their book never sees the light of day.  You know what I say?  Turn up the music on your iPod, crank up the speed on, ignore the pain, and keep pushing forward.  Maybe you'll fall--no one's journey is the same.  Maybe you won't be ready in the time frame that you want to be.  But eventually you'll get there.  You'll only ever fail if you quit.

Holiday Weekend

Happy people!  Thank goodness for holiday weekends.  I'm not sure what I'm going to be doing, but it will involve relaxing.

When we come back next week, it'll only be two weeks away from launch day!  I've got some exciting interviews and contests coming up.  Also, there may be a VLOG.  My last one failed, but I've sorted the madness and may now try it.

BTW, here's what I'm doing June 13:

Idea Clearinghouse

I'm besieged by ideas.  They come at me from all angles all the time.  It's kind of a blessing and a curse.  I'll be watching TV or driving or taking a shower and BAM! crazy idea comes into my head.

Anyway.  More often than not, I write the idea down somewhere and move along.  I have notes on my computer, little moleskine notebooks everywhere, sticky notes on my desk.  The ideas sometimes mate and produce other ideas.  Sometimes I can't stop thinking about an idea and I try to develop it.  But often times I come up with an idea that I know isn't me.  I love the idea, but I can't imagine I'd ever write it.  I read this article by China Mieville where he talked about coming up with ideas that he knew he wasn't the right person to write them.  And I often feel that way too.

So every once in a while, I'm going to dump some ideas into the public consciousness.  If you want them, they're yours.

1.  Imagine a world where vampires, werewolves, faeries, sirens, banshees, and every other paranormal creature you can think of turns out to be real.  One day they decide to come out of hiding and join society.  They try to get jobs, they try to marry, they try to fit into society, but it doesn't work well.  The government begins tagging them and rounding them up and forcing them to live on "reservations."  The story begins when the monsters kidnap the president's young son and then barricade themselves in their reservation.  Every week that the boy isn't returned, the government kills two of the monsters.  The story tells of the years where the boy grows to manhood in secrecy.  It's a mixture of The Graveyard Book and The Diary of Anne Frank.

2.  It's a proven fact that you can teach a skill to a flatworm, grind it up, and feed it to other flatworms, and they'll inherit that skill.  Imagine if this were true of people.  In this story, it is.  The tale is of two narratives:  one is a prisoner working toward his parole.  The prison system has been overhauled, and all prisoners are now taught valuable skills to survive in the outside world.  They study law and medicine and science and math.  But the dark secret is that sometimes, they disappear.  They too are ground up.  They're used to create pills to teach the very rich the skills that they've learned.  Want to learn French?  There's a pill for that.  The second narrative follows a budding journalist who uncovers this dark secret.  When armed men come after him, he has to find the one person who can expose the whole truth, and save the life of his soon-to-be paroled father.

3.  August J. Ostermyer was a spy during the second World War.  But he's now slowly dying in a nursing home.  His memories are confused because of Alzheimer's and he hasn't got a clue who he really is.  A young volunteer named Joe spends hours listening to the old man's stories, never knowing what to believe.  But there's a connective thread to every story:  a black-haired woman that stole his heart.  But her identity is a mystery.  Using August J. Ostermyer's stories, the troubled Joe goes on an adventure through Europe, following the clues to unravel the 21 lives of August J. Ostermyer and find the woman he loved before the old man dies.

Run free little ideas, and bog down my notebooks no more!

Do you all have any ideas that you think someone else would be better at writing?  Share away!

189

That's how much I weigh now!  189lbs.  I'm pretty much over the moon.  I still want to get down to about 175 but I'm feeling really great about 189 right now.

So aside from a little thing that's happening on June 15, I'm most excited about going to Comic-Con in July.  Have any of you ever been?  What should I expect?  I'm not sure WHAT to expect.  I'm fairly sure I'm going to stalk Joss Whedon.  Also, how difficult do you think it'd be for me to stuff him in my bag and drag him back to FL with me?

Seriously though, I'm going for fun.  I've heard loads about it for many years and this year just decided to go. I like comic book culture more than I like comic books.  I never got into the legions of super hero comic books because by the time I got around to wanting to read them, I could never figure out where to begin.  But I do like graphic novels and there are comics that I've read that I've enjoyed immensely.  Runaways, Buffy, Joss Whedon's X-Men arc, some Spawn, Kick-Ass.  I'm always looking for new ones too, so any suggestions would be welcome.

Mostly though, I'm looking at this as an experience.  I feel like I'm going back to my mothership.  I've always been a geek undercover.  A closet sci-fi fan.  I still have my copy of the TV Guide from when Star Trek: TNG went off the air.  And, if I can find it in time, I'm totally planning on dressing up as Doctor Who at least one of the days (right now my hair is almost long enough to be Eleven, and I do so love a good bowtie).

A friend from work is going with me.  She's more interested in a couple of the authors that are going to be there.  But all-in-all, I think it'll be a great time.

Yeah.  Okay.  That's it from me today.

Oh!  I'm also reading this book called MED-HEAD.  It's a really great book about a young man who suffered from Tourette's Syndrome and OCD.  It was written by the young man's father and James Patterson.  But it's written in the kid's voice from his perspective.  I'm only a hundred pages in, but I already know that this book is the kind of book that people need to read.  I know that as a young man, if I saw someone different, someone I didn't understand, it was easy to write them off as a freak.  Make fun of them for laughs.  I'm not totally proud of that.  But this shows you the other side.  It's really powerful stuff.

Tomorrow:  No idea, but I'll make something up.

What Happened on LOST

SPOILERS!  Don't read further if you haven't watched.


I keep reading loads of people pissy because they believe that the sideways flashes meant that all the people on the island were dead.  Even my mom texted me at midnight last night to ask if they'd been dead the entire time.

So, for clarification:  What happened on the island REALLY HAPPENED.  It was all real.  Kate and Claire and Sawyer and Other Characters escaped the island and lived out their lives.  Jack died.  Hurley and Ben served the island for many, many years, and then they too died.

The sideways flashes showed us a shared afterlife created by the Losties after they'd died.  It was an imperfect purgatory where they could experience life sans Island.  It was a place where they would all be able to find each other and help each other cross to the other side (whatever that may be).  It was a meditation on the nature of love and friendship and togetherness.  True to Jack's word, it was necessary for them to live together so that they did not have to die alone.

But the whole show was not some long con.  The events on the island really happened.  The flash sideways showed us the importance of those events.  The effect they had on the lives of the people who lived through them.  They were so important, the people were so important, that none of them could move on until they'd reunited in the flash sideways.

So they weren't dead the whole time.  If you still think they were, go rewatch the finale.

BTW, I loved that Ben, redeemed in real life didn't feel quite ready to move on.  He still felt he needed more time to grow.  It was wonderful to see that kind of clarity from a character who was so evil for so long.  Redemption isn't easily earned.  But it's possible.  I think that's the lesson Lost wanted to teach.

Morning Clarity

First:  UGH MONDAY!

Second:  That LOST finale was spectacular.  It just goes to show you that all the best stories are about characters.  The island was always just a giant MacGuffin.  The satisfying part of the finale wasn't learning anything about the island, it was seeing the characters evolve and then seeing that they were rewarded after death.  That their sacrifices were worth it.  As much as I'm going to miss that show, I'm damn glad it's over.

I can write at any time of the day, but I do my best writing in the morning.  I've never been a morning person.  When I wake up, I'm like an open wound.  I don't want to be spoken to or touched or even glanced at.  I'm fragile.  Something as simple as spilling coffee can begin a chain of events that leads to my having a bad day.  If I can get through the first couple of hours, then I'm good.

So why is it that my most fragile time, is also my most creatively fertile?  I still don't know.  I sit down in my chair, turn on some music, and write.  I always have a trusty cup of coffee.  My concentration during that time is astounding.  I bang out anywhere from 1000 to 2000 words an hour.  But then, around the 2 hours mark, my attention begins to wander.  I wonder about bills and my dog and what I'm going to have for lunch.  My word count drops.  I can't sit in my seat for more than a ten minute stretch.  It's odd.

I'm curious:  When is your best writing time?  How do you keep your attention focused when it starts to wander?

Happy Monday!

An Ode to Joss Whedon

I'm convinced that Joss Whedon should take over the showrunning of Glee.  One of my problems with Glee is that it hasn't been balancing storyline and song well.  The plots are rushed, left unfinished, or simply glossed over.  The silliness of it all has been overwhelming the seriousness.  

Last night's episode was, in my opinion, the best episode since the pilot.  There was a ton of awesome silliness (Neil Patrick Harris with a mullet?  AWESOME) but it was grounded in a way that the last dozen episodes haven't been.  I've watched everything Joss has ever done, and I could see his fingerprints all over this episode.  There was a gravitas that's been sorely lacking.  It was the first time I didn't tune out and only half-watch, while I read or played on my computer.

The writer's deserve a lot of the credit too, but there was something amazingly different about last night's episode that I'm attributing to Whedon.  Does that make me a Joss Whedon fanboy?  Duh!  In fact, I'm currently saving my money for bail in case I'm arrested for stalking him at Comic-con.  I'll be the guy in the bow tie dressed like Doctor Who.  

Anyway, there's no real point to this post other than to say that last night's Glee was the best of the season.  Also, they need much more Artie.  The flash mob scene in the mall where he got up out of the chair and sang Safety Dance was my favorite number ever.  They used a lot of handicam footage and some of the spectators looked truly surprised.  I'm really wondering if they went to some unsuspecting mall and did a flashmob without anyone knowing.  It was really amazing.  

Go here to watch it.  

So, Like, Wow.

If my posts become erratic or more unintelligible than usual, blame it on the fact that I'm less than a month from release day.  Pretty much all my thoughts are directed at release day.  I wake up thinking about it, go to sleep thinking about it.

I woke up this morning to the sound of cats chasing each other followed by a very loud crash.  My dining room table is kaput.  The cats destroyed it, and I very nearly destroyed them this morning.  The upside is that I had to write a really dark scene on my WIP involving a car fire, so it put me in the perfect frame of mind to do some damage.


Since The Deathday Letter is about a world in which everyone gets a letter 24 hours before their death letting them know they're going to die, I spend a lot of time thinking about what I'd do if I only had one day to live.  Mostly I'd want to see friends and family and get all my affairs in order.  But there are other things I'd like to do too.  Such as sky dive.  I've wanted to do it for a long time.  So, to celebrate my release day, on June 14, I'll be jumping out of a plane.  Then, on the 15th, I'll post the video for you all to see.  I'll probably scream a lot.

Is there anything crazy (and mostly legal) you'd do if you had one day to live?  Anything you'd eat or see or anyone you'd hunt down and say things to?  Tell me in the comments!  Maybe if there are some good ideas, I can do some of them for you leading up to the day.  

OPERATION FAT BUTT UPDATE:  194 lbs.  Finally able to fit into some of my old clothes, and I ran now job five miles without dying.  :)

Storytelling Done Really Well

I know this may make me hokey and kill loads of my credibility, but if you want to see storytelling done well, go watch The Vampire Diaries and Supernatural.

Both schlocky, I know.  I full admit that the effects are usually lame, the actors and actresses aren't particularly all that great (with some really notable exceptions), and they're on the CW.  However, both showcase two amazing storytelling techniques.  ****PROBABLY SPOILERY****

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES:  I read a couple of posts last week or the week before about kitchen sink storytelling.  Where the writer throws everything they've got into a story just to up the stakes.  While I agree that not all stories need aliens and vampires and unicorns AND angry island spirits, there's something to be said for throwing everything at a story.  And this is what makes TVD so compelling.  They burn through stories in one episode that would take other shows an entire season to work through.  And they do it believably.  This whole season I kept waiting for the lull, waiting for them to toss in a filler episode, to take a breather.  But they never did.  The writers of the show wrote like they weren't going to have a season two.  I was watching the finale last night, and at one point I looked at the time and couldn't believe that only 27 minutes had passed because SO darn much had happened.  Do I worry that, having thrown so much into season one, they'll have nothing left for season two?  Sure.  But that's the risk you take.  One of my favorite scenes from the movie GATTICA is when Ethan Hawke and his brother are swimming in the ocean, and his superior brother asks Ethan how he always manages to beat him.  Ethan replies that he never saved anything for the way back.  I think that's what makes for successful storytelling.  Don't save anything for the way back.

SUPERNATURAL:  Now here's an example of a complete story arc.  Eric Kripke always said he had a 5 year plan for the show.  And last night we saw the final piece of that plan.  It brought together everything we knew about the characters and the mythology and concluded it.  Sure, there'll be a sixth season, but this arc is complete.  What makes this so amazing is that you take a show like Buffy.  The world ended every season.  And every season Buffy fixed it.  Now, I LOVE Buffy.  For me, the vampires and apocalypse took a backseat to the characters.  But with Supernatural, you began in season one with a simple show about two brothers fighting monsters and looking for their father.  By the end of season five, they're tackling questions of theology and metaphysics and trying to find a way out of the middle of the war between heaven and hell.  And what did the apocalypse come down to?  A car and some Def Leopard.  They were saved by the memories shared in a car.  It might seem cheesy, but the relationship between the brothers was the REAL story that Kripke was telling.  He may have spun yarns about demons and angels and every manner of creature you can imagine, but at the core of his story were two brothers.  Over five seasons, he built that story one brick at a time, so that by last night's finale, everything made sense.  That's what makes a successful story arc.

In a way, I wish SUPERNATURAL had ended last night.  Because, as far as I'm concerned, that story is told.  

So, make fun of me for watching the shows, but those writers know what they're doing.  They know where they're going and they never hold anything back.  There's a lot to be learned from that.

Blog Chain: Writing Under the Influence

Happy Thursday!  I'm back on the blog chain and we've got a fun one from Christine.  She wants to know:

"Which author or authors have most influenced your writing and how?"

Everyone I read influences me in some way.  Recently I was reading Raymond Chandler and I came up with this description for a character:

Lexi isn't the kind of girl you expect to have cancer.  She isn't plucky or strange.  She doesn't have indie cred or a brilliant ray of sunshine that beams out of her ass no matter how bad things get.  She's bookish and eager and the kind of girl who likes getting extra English homework over long holiday weekends.

Now, I know that it's not Raymond Chandler there, but reading the awesome prose of THE BIG SLEEP directly influenced that.  I've also been recently influenced by the awesome pacing of Patrick Ness in his CHAOS WALKING triology.

But the BIG influences are the authors I read as a boy.  C.S. Lewis and Susan Cooper and Tolkien and Terry Brooks and John Bellairs and John D. Fitzgerald.  They're the authors who sparked my imagination.  The one's who showed me that there's magic in every cupboard, ring, and belt buckle.  They're the reason I love smart narrators and the nerdy adults who help them.  There's this passage between childhood and adulthood that holds so much wonder and pain and magic.  These authors, and really all YA authors, explored that area.  And they weren't just telling stories.  They were drawing maps.  Leaving clues to help others traverse that creaky bridge.  Their books helped me through adolescence and influenced the kind of work I write.

If I can leave just one clue of my own, then I'll be happy.  Their influence may not be in my word choice or my style, but if there's any magic in my work, it's there because of them.

Hey!  Tomorrow head on over and see who's influencing Abby.  And if you haven't already (and shame on you if you haven't) go check out the alt-rock recollections of Kate!  Maybe we can convince her to do some karaoke :)

Please Stop Using Stereotypes

Back on the blog chain, we all talked about writing characters outside our comfort zone.  The topic of stereotypes came up and I think I made it clear that I had a strong reaction to it.

Here's the thing about stereotypes:  they're self-perpetuating truths.  A stereotype is created because a sizable number of people fit it (southern folk are stupid).  That stereotype is then repeated to us via television and movies and books and so forth.  This in turn causes people to believe that they SHOULD be that way, which reinforces the stereotype and makes more people try to fit in it...ad nauseam.

So there IS some truth to stereotypes.  Look hard enough and you're going to find some really stupid Southerners.  You'll also find uppity white Northerners who drive Volvos, and hipsters in skinny jeans who only listen to music okayed by Pitchfork.  BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S OKAY TO USE THEM!

THE UNITED STATES OF TARA was one of my favorite new shows last year.  Not only is Toni Collette awesome, but they introduced a gay character who wasn't like any stereotype.  He was confident about who he was, shy in the way that all 15 y/o's are, but he had none of the typical angst that most stereotypical gay characters on TV have.  His parents didn't care, his friends didn't care.  It was a non-issue.  Except this season, he began questioning his sexuality.  Perfectly normal.  I think it has to be tough to decide your straight or gay without trying your options.  However, he eventually decided he was definitely gay.  He then decided to explore this with his new gay friend.  And what's the FIRST thing they did?  Snorted Adderall.

That's right, because apparently you can't be gay unless you're doing drugs.  It's in the handbook.  They turned the character into a cliché with one snort.  The writers leaned on a stereotype rather than write the character honestly.  Everything we'd been given to believe about the character up to that point was that he wasn't the kind of person who'd so something like that.

For me, that was the moment that the writers of the show gave up trying.  As writers, we want to surprise readers, we want to make them think.  Leaning on lazy stereotypes does the opposite.  It makes people turn off their brains.

So please, for the love of God, don't use stereotypes.  Use them as as a jumping off point if you absolutely need to, but then turn them on their head.  Take your fat, dumb Southerner and give him a doctorate in philosophy.  Take your gay character and make him star athlete.  Shake things up.  Set the world on fire just to see it burn.

"They're kissing again. Do we have to read the kissing parts?"

There's no denying that romance in the YA market is hot.  It doesn't matter whether it's about vampires, angels, werewolves, mermaids, dystopian futures with reality shows gone awry, or zombies.  Lots of people read YA looking for the kissing parts.  Who's going to pair up with whom?  Is there going to be a triangle?  A quadrangle?  How about an octagon?  Hey, don't knock it, I hear they have love octagons in the Sookie Stackhouse books.  People are looking to be Team Edward or Team Jacob or Team Peeta or Team Gale.  Everyone wants to be on a team.

But the point is that romances are hot.   Except when they're annoying.

Kissing is fine.  It doesn't bother me.  What bothers me is when the plot is a thinly veiled excuse for kissing or when the kissing and mooning occur at the expense of the plot.  I've read so many books where the romantic elements read like someone wrote the book and then looked for places to shoehorn in a fun romance.  Or the romance is so inappropriate that it's laughable.  An example is when you're reading a book where the main characters are running and fighting for their lives.  Literally every breath is a battle against death, but suddenly they have time to make with the smoochies.  That drives me nuts when done poorly.

 HUNGER GAMES is an example of a book that handles this situation really superbly.  You think it's ludicrous that Peeta and Katniss would be falling in love during the most brutal games known to man, but Collins makes it so that falling in love (or pretending to) is part of their plan to survive.  They HAVE to take time to make with the smoochies or they might die.  Collins took something that should have been ridiculous and made it integral to the plot.

Another book that does this is GUARDIAN OF THE DEAD.  I just read it and there's a romantic element in it but Karen Healey never pandered to it.  It was handled gracefully and never, ever was plot sacrificed to cram in some kissing.  I don't want to give anything away.

CANDOR by Pam Bachorz was another wonderful book that had a sweet (and slightly creepy) romance that was deftly worked into the plot.  Oscar spends his time fighting his father for control of Nia while believing he's saving her.  The feelings that each has for the other grow organically from that struggle.  You should read the book, but in a wonderful way, there were three people in that Nia/Oscar relationship.

Let's face it, teens love sucking face.  They like reading books about doomed relationships, about lovers from different sides of the tracks, about loves that triumph even over death.  So it's not like romance in YA is going anywhere.  But it should really have a point.  It should grow naturally from the plot.  It shouldn't be wedged into an otherwise awesome book because "romance sells in YA."  Because no matter how great a plot is, the moment two ridiculously good-looking young characters stop to make out while the giant zombie vampire bunny is about to crash through the door and kill them, is when I close the book.

So tell me:  What are your favorite books where the romantic elements are worked into the plot well?  Why do you think it worked?

MY BIG FAT BUTT UPDATE:  So I'm back UP to 200lbs for some reason.  However I'm not stressing because I've lost a lot of inches and my body fat percentage is way down.  Either way, I have 15 books now.  I have 34 days to keep losing weight.  I doubt I'm going to reach my 175 goal, but I'll have fun trying.  Thanks for all the great tips and advice :)  Keep 'em coming!

Q&A and Monsters of Men Review

So I totally forgot that I promised to put up a review of Monsters of Men.  Well I got two good questions for Q&A so I'll answer those and then do my review.  Both of my questions came from Michelle H. and here they are:


What books would you recommend for summer reading? 

Hmmmmm....I happen to know some awesome books coming out this summer.  Depending on what you're looking for, I'd say that Angie Frazier's EVERLASTING (June 1) is a really sweet read for someone looking for a book that's a little bit of adventure mixed with a little bit of Jane Austen.  Another book coming out this summer that I've gotten to read is JACK BLANK AND THE IMAGINE NATION by Matt Myklusch (out August 3).  I got to read a draft of this book.  It's a MG that's going to knock people's socks off.  Superheroes? Zombie robots?  And those are just in the first chapter.  I'm also going to push INCARCERON.  I took a sick day and sat outside to read it.  It was a fantastic book that'd be perfect for some days at the beach, but remember to put on sunscreen before reading because once you start, you'll forget everything else.  One summer book that I'm really looking forward to reading is Chelsea Campbell's THE RISE OF RENEGADE X.  I'm a big fan of this superhero trend.  The description reminded me of both POWERLESS and DULL BOY, both of which were fantastic.

Since Cinco De Mayo was yesterday (oops - missed it), do you have any wild crazy stories involving lampshades worn on the head or wearing someone else's underwear home? (I swear I thought they were mine... I like wearing boxer shorts!)


Ha!  I'm not sure I can share them here!  There was one story involving a cowboy hat that could get me in trouble.  No, here's one.  There was this bar up in Rhode Island that I used to hang out at for karaoke.  Me and a couple of friends would always go down there and sing.  When I was younger I had dreams of being a singer.  Anyway, on my 24th birthday my friends and I celebrated there.  It was fantastic.  People were buying me drinks left and right.  Well, the bartender was this guy we called Jumby (I wish I could remember the origin of that nickname).  I was so drunk, me managed to convince me to do a duet with him.  What did we do?  Neil Diamond and Barbra Streisand's "You Don't Bring Me Flowers."  He was behind the bar and I remember climbing ON the bar at one point.  I'll let you guess as to whether I was Neil Diamond or Barbara Streisand.

MONSTERS OF MEN Review


Okay, listen.  If you haven't read the first two books in this series--Chaos Walking--then you need to go read them.  Patrick Ness has written the best trilogy this decade.  Better than Hunger Games (which I adore).  Each book is part of a trilogy but also stands on its own and has its own lessons.  


My problem with most trilogies is that the second book sags and the third book is a race to wrap everything up.  MoM has none of these shortcomings.  It is a perfectly paced, perfectly plotted book that blew my socks off.  I have trouble doing reviews because I don't want to spoil the book for anyone.  Here's the thing:  Most people are turned off because they hear that this series has sci-fi elements, but those elements are just setting...their pieces on the stage.  This book (all three books really) is the story of a young man and a young girl who have to make choices and then live with the choices they make.  It's about friendship and love and doing the right thing even when it hurts.  I don't cry at a lot of books (movies are another story), but this one had me bawling for like the last three chapters.  


MONSTERS OF MEN deserves 5 of 5 stars for being awesome.  If you don't read this book, baby angels will cry.


Also, I'm not a fan of book trailers but this one for MoM is really well done.  

The Five Stages of Writing a Book

Writing a book is a process.  Sometimes it's a joyous process.  Sometimes it's a painful one.  Sometimes it makes you fat.

Here are the five stages of writing a book as stated by me.

1.  Euphoria - Your idea is shiny and new.  Nothing can touch it.  In fact, it's the best idea in the whole universe of ideas.  You want to call everyone you know and tell them about your brilliant idea and force them to tell you how absolutely amazing your idea is.  No, you haven't got a single word written yet.  In fact, you don't know characters names, setting, or even the plot.  It's okay!  Your idea is brilliant!  Sadly, many writers become addicted to the euphoria and never ever leave this stage.  They sit in coffee shops with their moleskine notebooks coming up with brilliant idea after brilliant idea, never concerned with the fact that their longest work to date is their grocery list.

2.  Denial - Much like euphoria, denial is a powerful thing.  This is the phase where a writer, armed with their idea, will ignore all the doubters, will ignore their own good sense and nagging insecurities, and sit down to write.  Congratulations if you've gotten to Denial.  Denial can last anywhere from 10k to 50k words.  You're sitting there, typing away.  Your chapters are flowing, your characters are awesome.  Everything they say is gold.  Outlines?  Who needs 'em?  Your idea is coming to life and that's all that matters.  Also during this stage, your family will forget what you look like and your friends will begin to believe you've been kidnapped by pirates.  This is the most productive stage of all because you're writing and you haven't yet decided that God made you a writer as some kind of sadistic punishment for something you did in a past life.

3. Depression - Depression is the stage during which 99% of all books die.  It is also the stage during which many pints of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food and packages of Double Stuff Oreos are sacrificed to the writing muses.  Depression sets in when you get to that point--sometimes 20k words, sometimes 80k--and all the doubts that you ignored in Denial resurface.  No one's going to want to read this drivel.  It's crap, I'm crap, and books are for sissies.  You frequently find time to look up odd facts on Wikipedia.  Did you know that there's a theory about Quantum immortality which means a person could possibly live forever?  Oh, that'd make a great new story.  Better than the drivel I'm writing.  Plus the one I'm writing isn't going well at all. My characters are boring, my dialog is trite, someone else probably wrote something similar and without as many lame fart jokes.  But this new idea.  It's Brilliant!  Yeah, that's how it usually goes.  Ask any writer and they'll likely show you a drawer--a graveyard if you will--of half-completed novels, many of which are titled, "Why Do I Suck So Bad?"  Writers at this stage are writers at their lowest.  They're looking for the next big idea, the next high.  Many never recover and wind up prostituting themselves in the stacks at local libraries and Barnes and Noble's for ideas.   Any idea will do, they're not picky.

4.  Resolution - Escaping depression isn't easy.  The first thing you have to do is realize that your book does in fact suck ass.  All first drafts suck ass.  Yes, your dialog is clunky, your characters are two dimensional, your brilliant plot probably wasn't that great to begin with, and chances are that your book will probably never see the light of day.  Once you make that realization, you can begin the trek toward the end.  The resolution means committing to finish that book, no matter what.  You're in the third act and you don't know how to get Mary Sue to the prom on time?  Toss in some aliens.  They can pick her up and take her in their ship.  Or better yet, blow up the prom.  Problem solved.  However you do it, finish.  Set an end scene and work toward that.  Writers in this stage are things of beauty...smelly, stinky, unshaven beauty.  Late nights turn into early mornings.  Coffee becomes the new water.  Their friends and family and spouses become so used to seeing them in their pajamas and hearing the words, "Just let me finish this one scene," that they're not even sure who that person in the chair is anymore.  But the closer that writer gets to writing "The End" the more beautiful they become.

5.  Euphoria (again) - Yes!  The book is done.  Sure, you have dinosaurs coming out of a magic mirror in the middle of your pivotal football game, but it doesn't matter because you're DONE...with the first draft.  You can't wait to show it to anyone and everyone who will read it.  Any writer who reaches this stage should feel an immense sense of accomplishment...and desire to shower and shave.  They should also avoid immediately going back and reading said first draft to avoid seeing lines like, "She fingered her wavy hair with her long, pointy fingers, and stared at the majestic sunrise while thinking thoughts about things that made her sad with depression."  Simply bask in the glory of finishing the manuscript.  Visit with your friends--don't be offended if they've forgotten your name--get reacquainted with your family and marvel at how much your children have grown.  When you began with your brilliant idea, they were barely walking and now they're in college.  Everyone loves you and the world is right, for you have written a book.

Euphoria (again) ends when you realize your book really does suck and you have to start the revision process....which is a whole different set of steps and requires more comfort than mere ice cream can provide.

Sundry!

My weight loss has stalled at 198 lbs.  I was doing so well, the pounds were coming off, and now...I'm stuck.  I'm pushing myself a little further--doing an hour of cardio six days a week rather than 40 minutes.  I'm shaking up my eating a little--trying new things, eating a little more, then a little less, then no carbs for a day or two.  But the truth is that I'm stuck in a rut.  I've hit a plateau.

So how do you all break through your plateaus?  Agent-mate and all around awesome human being always has great fitness tips at daily pie (sadly, no real pie, though she has given me tips on how to make my own key lime pie which I'm still itching to try.)

Also, if you don't know who Cole Gibsen is, you soon will.   Go say hi to her and congratulate her on her two book deal with Flux.  Her first book KATANA (that I read an early draft of and is A-FREAKING-MAZING) will be out early 2012.  I can't wait to see KATANA out on shelves.  Samurai will be the new vampires (except vampires are lame and Samurai ROCK!).

Lastly, I figured I'd do a Q&A post if there's interest.  Any questions about anything?  Ask them in the comments and on Friday I'll do a Q&A post.  Ask about anything:  me, Deathday Letter, publishing, what books you should read, net neutrality, how far I can stick my finger up my nose (the answer is: FAR).  I'm game for anything.

Have a great Cinco De Mayo!  Tomorrow I'm putting up my review of Monsters of Men, the final book in Patrick Ness' Chaos Walking series.  Hint: I cried.  Twice.

By the Seat of My Pants

I write by the seat of my pants.  There.  I admit it.  And boy does it feel good to get that off of my chest.

I've never been able to write outlines.  When I was in college, I did an honors project for my first English Comp class.  It was a short story that my professor and I spent hours working on.  She had me do outlines and character sketches and proposals.  Then, a couple of days before the story was due, I was listening to a song called "Benjamin" by Veruca Salt.  A story popped into my head.  I put that song on repeat and stayed up all night writing a story.  It had zip to do with the outlining and character sketching I did with my professor.  She was understandably peeved that all our hard work had gone out the window, but I couldn't help myself.  And in the end, my professor loved the story and gave me the honor credit.

When I picked my writing back up, I pantsed my way through one really bad story.  Then, for my next story, I tried to do character charts and outlines.  I hit some major road blocks (my three main characters had absolutely NO chemistry).  My next book, a 140k word YA Norse epic, was pantsed.  And finally there was Deathday Letter.  I wrote the first chapter, and I knew what the last chapter would look like, but all the middle stuff was a mystery to me.

Since then, I've been struggling with being the kind of person who outlines.  People in publishing like outlines.  They like to see where you're going before you go there.  Usually so they can help you get there better.  But I've always forged my own paths, often to disastrous consequences.  I like to know what my destination is, but I hate being told how to get there. Just ask my parents.  It's not that I hate advice or think people are wrong, it's just that I have this pathological need to do things for myself.  Because for me it's about the journey.  If I'm driving from Florida to Colorado, and you give me a map with a route, and pictures of what I'll see on the route, then what's the fun of driving?  That's how I feel about outlines.

It makes for a pretty inefficient writing process.  If the story is flawed, I may not find out until I'm 3/4 of the way in.  Without GPS to guide me, I may hit a roadblock and have to backtrack a long, long way.  But then again, without the mystery, the adventure of discovery, I may not want to go at all.

That mystery is how I sustain my enthusiasm for a book for the weeks or months it takes to write.  I know that it means I'll have a lot of work to do when that messy first draft is done, but it's what works.

So what works for you all?  Are you pantsers?  Or outliners?  If you're an outliner, what is it that drives you?  How do you keep the enthusiasm for writing a project when you already know what's going to happen?

I'm Shaun Hutchinson, and I'm a pantser.

VLOG Fail Part 2 - Winner Announced!

Okay, so after a frustrating morning trying to get the video off my cheap, junky Flip Video cam, I'm conceding that the technology has beaten me.  I'm sure that everyone was waiting to see my wonderful video, so I'm sorry to disappoint.  I'll figure out my video cam and do a real VLOG soon.

Now, onto the winners!

All the entries really made me laugh.  You all have got some awesome and cute pets and I loved reading these.

The post that made me shoot coffee out of my nose though belonged to Kat!  Shoot me an email with your address and I'll send you some bookmarks.  I know, not as exciting as a vomit encrusted book, but that might be for the best.

Next up is the cutest pet.  I said I'd let you all vote, so here are your options.  It comes down to:

Poesy, Stigmata and the iguana Ronnie, and the Jack Russel Pal.  Vote for the cutest pet in comments and the victor will receive bookmarks!

  

Now for the big winner.  Had my video cam not been possessed by demons, you would have seen me dramatically pull the name out of a hat.  Insert drumroll here.  The winner of the first (and last) Deathday Letter Kitty Puke ARC contest is:

Chantal

Chantal, send me an email with your address and I'll put it in the mail for your tomorrow :)

Thank everyone for all the great stories :)  

VLOG Fail

Hey!  So the good news is that I picked a winner!  The bad news is that I recorded the VLOG and now can't get it off my stupid Flip Video camera.   I know that you're all waiting anxiously to find out who won the kitty puke ARC contest, but in the name of VLOG's everywhere, I'm postponing the announcement until tomorrow so I can take the camera to my office and get the video off.

Anyway, it's my birthday today, so you can't be mad at me :)

Check back tomorrow!