What Are The Rules

I'm not ashamed of the fact that I'm a Vampire Diaries fan.  The show, not the books; I've never read the books.  It's entertaining, fun, I don't have to think too much, and the writing is witty and never dull.  A lot of shows have maybe one WTF moment in an episode. Some only one per season.  Lost was famous for having that one WTF moment near the end, the moment that reversed everything, turned the world on its head.  But TVD has so many of those moments that they should really just call it: WTFVampires.

One of my concerns has always been that, as they pile on those WTF moments, the internal logic of the story will begin to crumble under the weight of so many reversals.  I thought that had begun to happen during an episode a couple of weeks ago.  Our trusty anti-heroes found out that the Big Bad they were supposed to kill could only be killed in one very specific way.  With a knife dipped in some special ashes.  And that after, the knife had to be left in for the Big Bad to stay dead.  It was a WTF moment that irked me.  It threw a wrench in our anti-heroes' plans and I felt like it was silly.

"Why don't they just dismember the body, burn the pieces, and bury the ashes at remote parts of the world?" I asked my editor via email conversation.*  It seemed silly to me that they'd just leave the body of their most formidable enemy to date hanging out in their basement with a dagger sticking out of his chest for anyone with hands to come along and pluck out.

So there I was having this existential crisis over the illogical turn WTFVampires had taken when my editor came along and saved me.  She's SuperEditor.  She told me that dismemberment and burning of vampires had never been part of WTFVampires' mythology.

Duh!  SuperEditor hit the nail on the head.  Internal logic preserved.  The writers had never created the expectation that killing a vampire in that fashion was part of the norm, therefore the readers (watchers) shouldn't expect it either.  It made me think about my own books.  The lesson I took from this is all about managing a reader's expectations.  Story logic isn't always real world logic.  Maybe if YOU locked yourself out of your house, the first place you'd look for a spare key is under the flower pot but if the character in your story always kept the spare key on the ledge over the door, it might not occur to her to check the flower pot, no matter how much you yell at her.

You can do almost anything you want in your book so long as you manage the expectations of the reader.  Give your reader no reason to expect a character won't do something (in fact, give them plenty of reasons to think that he won't) and they won't roast you alive when your character doesn't do that thing, no matter how stupid not doing it might seem.

And in case you're wondering, our dashing anti-heroes on WTFVampires, did make an attempt to burn the body in following episode and discovered that even in its dead state it was immune to the flames.

*Yes, this was an actual conversation.  And yes, I love my job.

Clever and Beautiful

This month has been BUSY!  Working on a March 1 deadline, which has taken over my life.  But in a good way.

During the brief moments of respite that I have right now, I've been revising a book that is very dear to my heart.  It's a bit of a labor of love that sometimes feels like more labor than love.  Still, I adore it so.  I haven't looked at the book much in maybe six months, so I returned to it with fresh eyes, trying to be a reader rather than a writer.  I had made a lot of notes to myself about particularly clever or beautiful passages in the draft that I was reading.

And yet, when I read them this time, they pulled me out of the story.  That's not to say that the lines weren't clever or beautiful or both, simply that they were writerly, which was part of the problem.

Take the following description of a character:

Emma's a sweet girl raised on sitcoms and infomercials.  Sometimes I think she's about as fragile as one of those little glass figurines you can buy for three easy payments of $19.95, but then she wrestles a drunk into a bed and I know that her bones are steel.

In my original draft, I made a note about how much I loved this description.  Yet, when I reread it, I had to stop and think about what kind of girl she'd be if she were raised on sitcoms and infomercials.  Optimistic? The kind who thought all problems were solvable in just thirty minutes? Someone with a short attention span?  I think this description is clever in that the first sentence calls to mind so many possibilities, then the second sentence describes her fragility while calling back to the infomercial in the first sentence, and then providing a contrast that topples the notion of her fragility.  But for the cleverness I'm left unsure just who this girl is.

Sure, as the story progresses, we learn more about her, but this is the first time I introduce her, so I should provide a clear, meaningful description of who my main character thinks she is. And this paragraph, while possibly clever, doesn't do that.  Not only does it pull me out of the story because I have to think about the meaning, but it isn't particularly meaningful.

The same can be said for beauty.  Nearly every sentence that I tagged as particularly beautiful was distracting.  The sentences were meaningful and even did their job, but the flowery language distracted me.

I suppose what I'm saying is that, as writers, sometimes we tend to get caught up in our own genius.  But beware lines that you're overly taken with.  Tag them and then take them out and see if they impact the story. There can be beauty in bold, plain statements, and cleverness in simplicity.

Writers, This Applies to You

Follow the link.  Read the whole thing, down to the last line.  Then go forth and write like a motherfucker.

Best Writing Advice Ever.

Borders Closing and What it Means to Me

I've thought for a while about what to say in regards to Borders' bankruptcy filing.  There seems to be a pall of doom hanging over Twitter in regards to this but I have to say that I don't think this is all bad.

Yes, it sucks that a lot of employees will lose their jobs.  There's no way to spin that into a good thing.  But this is happening all over.  Friends have lost jobs, the economy is in the tank, even my own job is uncertain.

Let me back up.  My fondest book experiences come from wandering small Waldenbooks stores in my youth.  They weren't the megastores that we have today but they were big enough to have a little bit of everything.  The people who worked there genuinely loved books and were always eager to push their favorites.  Indie bookstores are even better.

See, in this age of digitalization, the best part of bookstores isn't how many there are or how big they are, it's the people who work in them.  I don't have time to read about every new book coming out.  I depend on recommendations from friends and booksellers and librarians.  I have a core group of people who can get me to read anything.

In my opinion, the reorganization of Borders gives it the opportunity to regroup.  To find what it does best and then focus on that.  In the age of e-books, we simply don't need sprawling stores that take up more space than an Ikea.  What we need are smaller stores, stocked with knowledgable people.

Imagine this:  Small stores, like boutique stores, that specialize in certain books.  Similar to Books of Wonder in NY, which specializes in children's literature.  More money is spent on well trained, knowledgable employees because carrying stock isn't a requirement.  Sure, they'll carry the hottest, best selling titles, or titles that the bookseller feels passionate about, but they won't need to stock them all.  Because there will be a couple of computer stations throughout the store where customers can purchase any book not stocked through an affiliate program.  This includes physical books AND e-books.  Programs like Google's e-bookstore allow booksellers to sell e-books.  That way you can go to your favorite indie bookstore and buy the books you want for your Nook or Kobo or whatever, while still making sure to support that store.  And since booksellers won't have to devote as much space or cash to stocking every single book ever written, they can stock their core sellers and still have access to the rest.  Leaving them more money to focus on having the best booksellers in the business.  Because when it comes to pushing a book, nothing beats a real live person who loves it.

Maybe I'm being optimistic, but I think the time of the book megastore is over, and I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing.  I'm psyched to see what the future brings.  I think that bookstores will need to become destinations.  It's so easy to sit at home and buy books from my couch, so bookstores will need to become places we want to go if they want to capture the sales.

I think that small stores with this type of concept can be profitable in a digital age.  And I think that if Borders is smart, they can emerge from this a stronger, better, more viable company.

Blog Chain - Show Me the Love

Happy Monday!  And not only is it Monday, it's also Valentine's day.

When it comes to the V-Day, I've never been particularly lucky.  Over the years, I began to see the day as another corporate marketing strategy to make single people feel awful and committed people feel the deep burning desire to go to the mall and spend money.

I still think Valentine's day is a sorry excuse to get us to buy cards and chocolate (Okay, I don't really need an excuse to buy chocolate) but this year I'm feeling a little mushy on the whole thing.  This year I'm feeling the love.  Which leads me to this blog chain's question:

Who is your favorite literary couple and why?

It's easy to root for the dramatic relationships.  The love triangles.  The doomed-to-failure love destined to reach across time and space.  But those relationships are basically crap.  I'm not being cynical.  Those relationships are great fun to write (and read) because they're easy.  Take boy, add girl, dump on complications, multiply by drama, watch the chaos.  But that's not real love.  Not in my opinion.

Real love takes time.  It's slow.  It's sneaky.  Half the time, you're in it before you realize it and by that time, it's too late.  Real love doesn't threaten to commit suicide for you, it brings you bendy straws when you're sick with a sore throat.

That's why my favorite literary couple is Taylor Markham and Jonah Griggs from Jellicoe Road.

I've made it pretty clear that Jellicoe Road is one of my favorite books ever, and if you read it you'll know why.  There's so much that happens in that book but the relationship between Taylor and Jonah is just amazing.  It's a slow build that you don't see coming until it's too late.  They don't see it coming either.  But that's not what makes it brilliant.  What makes it brilliant is that when love does rear its head, it feels so right.  You see them come together and you're like, "Duh!"  Their drama is personal.  No one dies, there's no love triangle, no misunderstood kisses.  It's just sweet and real.

And that's it!  As I'm the first link in this chain, you'll need to head over to the super sweet Sarah's blog tomorrow to see who her favorite literary couple is.

E-Books: Stop Being Lazy

I am a reader.  I've been a reader far longer than I've been a writer.  I've been reading e-books now for a little over a year.

And I've figured out what bothers me about e-books.

They're riddled with mistakes.

I'm currently reading EVERLOST by Neal Shusterman.  I've loved two of his other books and everyone told me this was the best.  But my enjoyment of it is being disrupted by issues with the Kindle version of it.  There are so many errors in this book that I'm almost unable to finish it.  Characters called by different names in the same chapter, formatting completely messed up, parts of sentences missing.  This book is a mess.  And it's not the only one.

Less care seems to be taken with electronic versions of books than their counterparts.  Now, I've only read Kindle versions but I'm willing to bet that these sorts of errors pop up in other versions too.  I applaud authors and publishers who take the time to make sure the e-versions of their books come out properly.  Patrick Ness stated on his blog that they'd held up the e-release of his Chaos Walking books until they were able to get the "Noise" to show up properly.  But it still seems that publishers are rushing books to the e-market without taking time to make sure they're good.

Listen, it's not going to be long before e-books sell just as many copies as regular books.  Stop treating them like second class products.  If the book isn't perfect, don't send it to market.

Dear Authors

Don't do it.

No one likes bad reviews.  They sting.  But the thing about the Internet is that it gives everyone a voice.  Which is a good thing.  Hell, it's a great thing.  It means that people who may have no other outlet will have a way to reach the masses.

It also means that every single person who has an opinion on something has a way to shout it to the world. Maybe you don't like that opinion.  Maybe you think it's unfair or unjustified.  Maybe you're even right.

But you should never, ever, EVER, respond directly to a bad review.  Never call a person or a website or a reviewer out by name.  It doesn't matter what your intentions are or what justification you use, you will always look bad.

If you read a bad review and you feel like you HAVE to respond, then write out that response.  Write every horrible thing you want to say.  And then send it to your mother.  But don't put it up for the world to see.  And don't make comments anonymously; everyone will know it's you.

Just step away from the keyboard and let it go. Your career will thank you.

What is a Family?

I think this speaks for itself.

Blog Chain - Out There

This week's blog chain, started by the awesome Amanda asks the question:

Are you a good social networker? What aspect of platform building do you focus on the most? Which aspects freak you out?

Blerg, I say.  Blerg!  

I admit that I go through phases of being a good social networker.  But mostly I suck.  When I began this blog, way back when, I did so more for me than for anyone else.  I wanted to keep track of my progress as I began a serious path to publication.  It was a of keeping myself honest.  Then I found myself with actual people reading this blog.  Over the years, I've tried to develop themes and such, but the simple truth is that I'm not organized enough for that.  I generally blog about whatever pops into my head at the moment.  I'm not particularly eloquent with my blogs because I often forget that these aren't just for me.

When it comes to Twitter and Facebook, I don't consider them platforms for my writing so much as places to chat. Sure, Twitter has helped me with promotion events, but I consider that a halo effect.  It's not why I do it.  To be honest, Twitter has lost some of its shine.  It's difficult to keep up with, I go for days without being able to check it, and sometimes I miss so many tweets that it's impossible to keep up.  Facebook is the same.

Between you, me, and the Internet, I'd much rather be a passive participant to all this social networking stuff.  I'm introverted by nature, usually seeking out one or two people to hang out with.  My circles of friends have always been limited.  So it's mentally exhausting trying to keep up with loads of people.  But at the end of the day, it's rewarding.  I've met some great friends through Twitter and Facebook and this blog.  The awesome folks on the chain are definitely at the top of the list.

For me, I just try to focus on being me.  I'm not everyone's cup of tea.  It's not possible for everyone to like you, so I don't try.  I just be myself and let whatever happens happen.

The only aspect that truly freaks me out is having to do signings.  I'm good with people one-on-one, and I'm good in front of an audience, but that aspect gives me cold sweats.  I think it's because people expect me to be funny.  I wrote a funny book which means I should be funny in real life, right?  Not so much. The reason I'm a writer and not a stand-up comedian is because I don't think of the funny stuff until hours or days later.

Right!  So what about you?  Go check out the amazing Laura and see what she had to say, and then go check out the spectacular Sarah tomorrow!

Ignorance

Ignorance isn't just bliss, it's essential.

This morning I read fellow Tenner Steve Brezenoff's blog post about how he cancelled his Google alerts and made a decision to stop looking for the endgame in this whole writing thing.  I honestly read the post and then moved on without thinking about it until I read a review of Deathday that pissed me off.

Since Deathday came out, I've done my very best to be zen about reviews.  I avoid them if possible.  I remember in 2009 following the flameout of a romance author who got into a fight on Amazon with a bunch of readers over some bad reviews, and I made the decision right then never, ever to become one of those people.  Bad reviews happen and I should get over it.  But this review was particularly annoying for reasons that aren't important.  What's important is that it pissed me off.  And I was pissed off for a a while.  Until I remembered Steve's post.

Reviews don't matter.  A bad review, one person missing the point so badly that I'm not sure they even read the book, doesn't change the fact that I loved writing it.  I love the characters.  I loved working on it with my editors.  I love holding it in my hands and knowing that it's out there.  I'm not going to stop writing what I love.

So I took Steve's advice.  I cancelled my Google alerts.  My Goodreads Author page is dead to me.

Because writing is its own reward.

People who read the book, they have the right to feel any which way they want to about it.

And I have the right to plug my fingers in my ears and shout, "Nah, nah, nah, nah!  I can't hear you!"